Don’t make a huge mistake this weekend.
I’m gonna blue all over myself, and I can’t fucking wait.
My how times have changed.
This is the way teenagers eat these days.
This is the way I ate food as a teenager, and still proudly do to this day.
My food isn’t meant to be remembered with Instagram and Facebook, it’s meant to be muthafucking devoured. It’s hard enough waiting until everyone has their food in front of them. My fork…it talks to me…it seduces me. And then it’s in my hand and I can’t stop.
The thought of taking a picture is the furthest thing from my head when it comes to food.
Besides, Pinterest is a slutfaced bitch. YOU TEASE ME SO.
Leo just does it for me, you guys.
He could squint through my soul if I broke down my guard long enough to believe he would’ve survived the Titanic if James Cameron wasn’t such a fucking asshole.
I become more and more easily amused with age. It’s awesome. You should get on board, if you’re not already farting and giggling in the bathtub with me.
In other news, the technology known as captcha (that test-looking thing that verifies you’re not a robot) has caught onto our human tendencies.
Hey, if Wall-E taught us anything, it’s that technology will make us fat and boring. This little guy is really doing us all a favor.
Good lookin’ out, captcha.
I hate you.
This is a fun game to break down barrier lines and really question the important aspects of humanity: what seat in the car do you want to take?
I choose the seat next to the fine gentleman in the back sporting a pacifier. He seems totally legit, because why are we taught to stop sucking on a pacifier anyway? I like that he’s challenging the stereotype.
In other news,
HOLY FUCK THAT IS ALL.
Ignorance is the devil’s work, I tell ya.
You really couldn’t have run this by someone?
The tagline is doing you no favors, because:
I just hope the Sweet Tooth Pedo is located next to The Joint chiropractic place in the background there.
This shopping center is turning out to be wildly intriguing. What’s next? Finger Bang, the gynecologist center.