The Anatomy Of A Facebook Status

If Facebook and I had a relationship status, it would read “It’s Complicated.”

For a few months, I successfully devoted myself to Facebook Fridays – I only went on the ‘book Fridays instead of everyday (plus it tickled my alliteration fancy), and I loved it. It was also remarkably easy, mainly because my newsfeed kept getting cluttered with bitching and griping, causing me to nearly murder my computer. People I consider friends were starting to annoy the shit out of me, so I figured I needed to take a break so I wouldn’t be inspired to punch them so hard in the face. Now that I’m back on the ‘book (thanks blog, you made me do it), I get to be filled in on everyone’s negativity again! And pictures taken in mirrors! And photos of babies or almost babies! And statements about other people having the best boyfriend in the world, making mine NOT the best boyfriend in the world! YayaYayayayAyay!!1! OMGGGG “like” if you agree or I’ll die.

All this aside, I’m sure my time back on the ‘book will inspire a fantastic blog post about social media whoring, so I’d like to thank M-Zuck in advance for that. In the meantime, here’s the perfect formula for a Facebook status.

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