20 Bizarre Pictures Drawn By Little Kids – a Buzzfeed share.

Oh Buzzfeed, how I love thee. I visit you a lot, probably more than I should considering I check you more often than my work email. But that’s just our little secret, mkay?

Here’s a clear winner that needs to be shared as much as humanly possible. I’m doing my part right now, how will you change the world?

Original link: 20 Bizarre Pictures Drawn By Little Kids

1. Just some horses.

Just some horses.
Via: uselesshumor.com

2. He’s very flexible.

He's very flexible.
Source: i.imgur.com  /  via: reddit.com

3. “How are you doing in hell?”

"How are you doing in hell?"
Source: media1.break.com  /  via: break.com

4. They’re scissors. Really.

They're scissors. Really.
Source: i.imgur.com  /  via: reddit.com

5. Such a nice sentiment.

Such a nice sentiment.

6. No, that’s not disturbing at all.

No, that's not disturbing at all.

7. Makes total sense.

Makes total sense.

8. Run, leprechauns, run!

Run, leprechauns, run!
Source: i.imgur.com  /  via: reddit.com

9. Quack?

Quack?

10. HULK SMASH

HULK SMASH
Source: i.imgur.com  /  via: reddit.com

11. Any guesses?

Any guesses?

She swears it’s a dress.

12. Yup.

Yup.

13. It’s not what you think it is.

It's not what you think it is.

It’s a lawn mower.

Source: i.imgur.com  /  via: pophangover.com

14. Pigs are gross.

Pigs are gross.

15. Until the digestive juices kick in, anyway.

Until the digestive juices kick in, anyway.

16. It’s OK because everyone is smiling.

It's OK because everyone is smiling.

17. Spotted dick?

Spotted dick?

FYI.

Source: hiloop.com  /  via: hiloop.com

18. Hey mom…

Hey mom...
Source: img.izifunny.com  /  via: izifunny.com

19. Well, it’s accurate.

Well, it's accurate.
Source: fungagz.com  /  via: fungagz.com

20. *Cough*

*Cough*

9 Animal Hair Hats. Wait, wait – did you read that correctly? ANIMAL HAIR HATS.

Somewhere in the world, Lady Gaga is feeling entirely under-styled and sad with her bow hair.

 

Rabbishing, right?

 

She’s just horsing around, hahahalol!

 

Real life elephant in the room moment. Right here.

 

CUTE ATTACK! Don’t you just want to take this one home??! I will brush your hair forever and always.

 

SIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

Don’t be sad, Pumba! HAKUNA MATATA.

 

It’s staring at me.

 

At least she’s not obvious about it or anything.

 

I’d rather have a unicorn hair hat. The fact that hair hats exist warrant the need to create a unicorn one. It’s science.

 

“I am sad now with my hair bow.”

The Anatomy Of A Facebook Status

If Facebook and I had a relationship status, it would read “It’s Complicated.”

For a few months, I successfully devoted myself to Facebook Fridays – I only went on the ‘book Fridays instead of everyday (plus it tickled my alliteration fancy), and I loved it. It was also remarkably easy, mainly because my newsfeed kept getting cluttered with bitching and griping, causing me to nearly murder my computer. People I consider friends were starting to annoy the shit out of me, so I figured I needed to take a break so I wouldn’t be inspired to punch them so hard in the face. Now that I’m back on the ‘book (thanks blog, you made me do it), I get to be filled in on everyone’s negativity again! And pictures taken in mirrors! And photos of babies or almost babies! And statements about other people having the best boyfriend in the world, making mine NOT the best boyfriend in the world! YayaYayayayAyay!!1! OMGGGG “like” if you agree or I’ll die.

All this aside, I’m sure my time back on the ‘book will inspire a fantastic blog post about social media whoring, so I’d like to thank M-Zuck in advance for that. In the meantime, here’s the perfect formula for a Facebook status.

10 Road Signs That Are Way Better Than Texting

Many people text while they drive because their phone is WAY TOO IMPORTANT TO SET DOWN BECAUSE HE MIGHT TEXT ME BACK (probably just with “k”). But what if you’re texting and not paying attention and miss one of these gems? Granted, the real reason would be not to get in an accident and hurt anyone, but here’s a little extra incentive to do the right thing. And perhaps to also snap a quick pic of it and share it with everyone. Double-edged sword, eh?

1. It would be easier to hate this sign if it weren’t so true.

Via: elistmania.com

2. Again, it’d be easier to hate this sign if it weren’t so true.

Via: hotrodsandclassics.net

3. OMG you guuuuyyyyyss! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Via: guy-sports.com

4. This should really be put into law already. Finders keepers, bitches.

Via: drivesteady.com

5. This must be in a great school district.

Via: damncoolpictures.com

6. Falling cows. This place has FALLING COWS. And clearly, cows who don’t give a shit that they’re falling.

7. This sign may have also caused said accident.

Via: afkra.blogspot.com

8. You would be really sad if you missed this sign. And if you just ate Taco Bell and got nervous while passing it.

Via: playfulpallett.com

9. I hear this is a great place for a honeymoon.

Via: funnysignpics.com

10. Sounds about right.

Via: oldcatman-xxx.com

Quote of the Day

Because we could all use more Where the Sidewalk Ends in our lives.

Some good ‘ol fashion family bonding over Magic Mike

While visiting my boyfriend’s family in the southwest region of Florida during the 4th of July holiday, I was invited by his grandma and aunt to see Magic Mike with a few of their church friends. Yea, and that’s not even the end to my story.

I suppose I should’ve paid more attention to the Magic Mike previews. Aside from Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey dancing around to “Moves Like Jagger” while the female race jizzes their panties, I figured this movie was set to appeal to the tweeny masses. The Twilight fiends who love to see skin but never get to see the actual sex. So I pegged this as a silly stripper movie, a fleshy vehicle to send the girls of the world screaming into theaters. I was wrong. I was so incredibly wrong.

The first 15 minutes included the following: Channing Tatum’s luscious/toned/unfair bare ass, Olivia Munn’s boobies, some additional naked chick to imply a threesome, men in thongs, a penis pump and visual of a penis head being pumped, and the most intense grinding stripper moves you will ever see. The kind that make you think, “This guy would literally smother and kill me in bed. GIVE IT TO ME.” However, I did not make any comment like that in the theaters because I was slightly horrified of the fact that my boyfriend’s sweet, adorable grandma, his aunt, and their church friend were sitting by me. Was there really another hour and twenty minutes of this left? YES. And I was simultaneously ecstatic and confused.

The movie had it’s terrible plot (“The ‘Citizen Kane’ of stripper movies”?! Seriously previews? THIS is all you prepared me for. You couldn’t have told me there was some dick? Thanks.) and Channing worked the hell out of lots of girls and the stripper stage. Matthew McConaughey was a real douchebag, but a douchebag with an AMAAAAAZING torso. There’s an old saying about washboard abs, that you could wash clothes off some six-pack/eight-pack abs. You could actually wash anything off of Matthew McConaughey’s abs. Those things could sink the Titanic, again. But I digress.

When the movie ended, I was tempted to clap (Did I mention Channing Tatum’s dance moves? And McConaughey’s rock hard abs?) but I was also really scared to say anything. I wasn’t sure if my boyfriend’s grandma was petrified so I was ready to bash the movie for it’s inappropriateness and degradation of women’s breasts. But what are the first words I hear, straight from my boyfriend’s aunt’s mouth? “They never danced to ‘Moves Like Jagger,’ I’m really disappointed.”

We all began discussing how none of us knew we were seeing a movie like that. You know, like porn. After about 20 minutes of awkward laughing and my boyfriend’s grandma talking about how much more she likes Matthew McConaughey in those sweet romantic movies and he just wasn’t very nice in this one, we finally just started bursting out laughing over the whole ridiculous situation.

Once we got back to the house, I looked at my boyfriend (his name is Mike, the irony) and told him I just had an intense bonding experience with his grandma and aunt while watching porn. You should’ve seen his face.

Naturally, we’ll be there opening day for Magic Mike 2.

Uncommon Sense

Is uncommon sense the new common sense? It seems the last few years has brought on an epidemic of senseless people doing obviously stupid things (I blame the premise of Twilight and the world’s obsession with “lol” for this). Here’s a list of seven red flagged habits from those stricken with this horrible affliction.

  1. Crossing a busy street without looking, ever. Perhaps Darwinism should help us out here.
  2. Standing in the middle of a sidewalk looking around, completely lost. Move goddamn it.
  3. Speeding up in a merging lane because you don’t want to wait in traffic. People like you are the reason there’s a back up in the first place. Also, I won’t let you in. Ever.
  4. Pulling on a locked door numerous times believing your half-assed strength will magically unlock it.
  5. Gunning it at a yellow light knowing you’ll be stopped in the middle of the intersection is a dick move. Period.
  6. Believing a magical pill will allow you to lose weight without changing your diet and exercise regimen. Seriously, get up and move around.
  7. A bum who begs for money while smoking and drinking a Starbucks coffee. Your gig is up, pal.