I can’t wait for all ten of these celebrities to read this blog and reach out to me for drinks and Cranium. I’m pretty good at the humdingers, just so you know my strengths ahead of time.
1. Amy Poehler
I think it’s finally about time we met and made up voices and became best friends. Also, as Mrs. Will Arnett (EDIT: Noooooooooooooooooooo! 😦 😦 😦 ), she recently said this in an article: “I had no idea how to get guys to notice me. I still don’t. Who cares?” Plus, being BFFs with Amy would introduce me to more SNL ladies I love, like Tina Fey, Kristen Wiig, and Maya Rudolph. Full win.
2. Will Ferrell
OMG we’d have so much fun. And we’d post our shenanigans on Funny or Die.
3. Lauren Graham
I think every woman my age has always wanted to be BFFs with Lorelei Gilmore, amiright?
4. Robert Downey, Jr.
He’s like the fun uncle everyone dreams of having (except my friend Jess who wants to be his Nicole Kidman). I just…sooooo want to be in his circle of friends and draw pictures of gatos with him. And I want to convince him to do a Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang sequel. Or at least do 100 more movies with a chubby Val Kilmer. Plus he’s Tony Stark, so…duh.
5. Jennifer Aniston
Yes. She can teach me the secret wonder of her perfect fucking hair.
6. Conan O’Brien
Because our brains are connected. I’m most certain of this. Plus, we’re pale pals.
7. Jim Carrey
I have always wanted to know Jim Carrey. If there’s one person on this earth who could actually kill me of laughter, it would be this guy. So maybe we shouldn’t meet…but what a way to go, huh?
8. Emma Stone
Because I’m pretty sure we’re the same person.
9. Ryan Gosling
Best friends, lovers…whatev.
10. Bill Murray