“Oh, hi there hangover, you’re a bitch with a dick.” – Said every person who’s ever lived.
For today’s edition of my Parks & Recreation devoted post, Leslie Knope teaches us a lesson in being drunk. It’s an unwritten law that drunk people do stupid things. We have all been there, in that morning after pool of sweat and humiliation. Your friends are laughing, telling you how fuckin hilarious you were and going on about the amount you drank and how proud they were of your recklessness. When in reality, you hurt so bad – and if you had any strength or feeling in your good arm you’d totally punch them hard in the fuckin face. All their talk about the shots and mixed drinks and those last few blacked out beers make you want to cry and suck on your thumb. Suck all those toxins out of your fuckin THUMB. At this point, your friends are the worst. They let you drink that much and now your head feels like it’s literally going to combust. Repeat after me, Friends don’t let friends mix their alcohol. Unless they deserve it, because there’s no arguing with a drunkard – amiright? I’ll laugh at you in the morning, suckaaaaaa!
I don’t remember where I was going with this, and I’m pretty sure I lost the point at the end there, but here’s a video compilation of Leslie Knope’s best drunk moments.