John Stamos Must Be a Vampire and Amy Poehler Deserves All the Emmys in the World. IN THE WORLD.

This weekend was solid for the world of entertainment. First up, one of my favorite shows of all time Full House turned 25, reinforcing the fact that my childhood is incredibly over and I’m old. That being said, the cast reunited for this splendid occasion, except for the Olson twins. I’m sure they just got scared away when they heard food would be at the party.

To prove this shindig existed and to encourage the humming of Uncle Jesse’s “Forever” at my desk, here are some pictures the cast was kind enough to tweet the world.


Everyone has gotten older except one person. Can you guess who? Of course you can. It’s John fuckin Stamos. Dave Coulier is trying to soak up some of Stamos’s perfection by placing his hands directly over each amazing shoulder. It’s not going to work Uncle Joey, you oughtta know (whaaaaa?). Bob Saget looks wasted, and I’m sure he was. I’m also sure he was vulgar and hilarious and cuddled with Stamos the whole time. The girls all look awesome, and little Stephanie sure did spout the boobies, didn’t she? I’m just glad to know DJ and Kimmy still look chummy. Aladdin looks about right, too. At least, I think he does. My eyes haven’t drifted too far from John Stamos. I can’t decide if I should look at his arm, the V-neck collar area, his face, or his hair. IT’S TOO DIFFICULT.

I need to tear myself away from this, time for Poehler.

The Emmys were last night. I didn’t watch them. How dare they not nominate Parks & Recreation for Best Comedy Series? Or Nick Offerman for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy? Or give Steve Carrell an Emmy for his work as Michael Scott? Or Hugh Laurie an Emmy for House? So I was trying to make a statement by not watching. Or I totally forgot and was too busy telling the referees in the Patriots vs Ravens game to GO FUCK THEMSELVES to notice the Emmys were on. Either way, the power of the internet catches me up and my top moment happens to include one of my favorite female celebs graciously losing to the wonderful Julia Louis-Dreyfus.



Damn shame. But tip ‘o the hat to Dreyfus for being cool enough to share the spotlight with the funniest woman on television (in all honesty, from the one Veep episode I’ve seen, Dreyfus is awesome). The lesson here? Funny women are awesome and more powerful together. Right Amy?

Amy Poehler Steals The Show Again

One thought on “John Stamos Must Be a Vampire and Amy Poehler Deserves All the Emmys in the World. IN THE WORLD.

  1. OMG, As I looked through those Full House pics, I thought just about everything you wrote. I think everyone looks great, except for Bob Saget…super old and gross. And Stephanie Judith Tanner — HOLY BOOBS!

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