1. Getting ready to go to the gym as if you’re going out to the club. Just…stop that. I hope you get a ton of acne from all the sweat and foundation that’s about to drip off your face.
2. Instagraming everything. I just want normal pictures again.
3. Using Facebook as a means to make people jealous of what you have, who you have, and what you’re eating. Stop giving a shit about what people think of you. Not all pictures need to be status updates. Enjoy the moment without the need for instant technological gratification.
4. Wearing gaucho pants of any kind. They are seriously hideous.
5. Emulating anyone from any reality television show. Be yourself, not some drunken, bitchy, slut of a person who might get a thousand views on YouTube. Unless that actually IS who you are, in which case you need to be hosed off and slapped really hard in the face because you’ve got to be kidding me.
6. Reading Twilight.
7. Uggs worn with shorts or skirts. THIS HAS NEVER MADE ANY SENSE.
8. Saying, “I’m so over the drama.” Bitch please. Your thumbs are still twitching over the 500 word Facebook status you just wrote about it.
9. Going on Facebook to live vicariously through other people. Stop competing with people you knew 10 years ago. You’re not them and life isn’t that bad. You might want to try stepping outside and breathing air, or something.
10. Saying Voldemort’s name. HE WILL FIND YOU.