Rich President, Poor Country.

Why do all politicians seem like the last person I want voicing my struggles, opinions and interests to the rest of the world?

While watching the second Presidential Debate last night, I couldn’t help but get more frustrated with the future of our nation. That’s a sad reality since these forums are supposed to ease my nerves and part the clouds as one candidate sprouts a unicorn horn and I run out in full support to vote. That didn’t happen – in fact, the opposite happened. Instead I’m looking at these two rich guys wondering where the hell they got the nerve to serve up some crazy bullshit about how they’re going to fix America. They trained to tell us what we want to hear, that’s a given.

As much as everyone is flying their party flags, we all need to fess up to the fact that these guys are both working for a bunch of dicks. Obama, Romney – they’re the same, just two mouthpieces who are coached to tell us stories around their golden plated campfires to draw us into the plan that the guys behind them want put forth. If there’s one thing I got from the debate last night, it’s that neither of them have real answers for the state of our nation. Everyone heard their generalizations, and that’s all they ever are:

“I know what it takes to get this nation back on track.”

“I actually care about 100% of Americans.”

“When I was a little boy, I met a woman who’s story related to this question and I’m going to tell it so that my time is taken up and I don’t have to answer your question but I will generally tell you I should get four more years.”

But the most annoying part of listening to these guys was hearing them say “Us.” Like they are anything like the rest of us. They talked about resurrecting the middle class, saying “we need a stronger middle class” and “a better economy is coming around for us”. No. No, no, no, NO. Neither of you are allowed to talk about OUR struggles. That’s like Romney saying he knows what it’s like to be a black man, or Obama claiming to know what it’s like to be asian. The fact of the matter is, you guys are always going to be okay, no matter how shitty the economy gets. Obama – You’re the President of the United fuckin States. You’re set for life. And even if you weren’t, Michelle has a badass law degree and will make your family even more. How rich you are now, and before your presidency, doesn’t affect the middle class. Romney – You wreak of money, most Republicans and pretty much all other politicians do. But it’s all over your face. I’m sure you’ve got your hand in China’s wealth and a bunch of other countries, too, and I have no doubt Obama does as well because you’re all the same. Bottom line:  It frightens me that I can’t trust either of you.

If I had to break it down by candidate, this is how my train thought would go:

Romney, you look like a typical rich white guy – I’m sure you’re a wonderful family man and good for you. Maybe your business know-how could get us back on track, but I wouldn’t have a beer with you because I don’t think you could talk about anything else but business. I’m glad you’re so concentrated on the economy, but I still don’t understand how you want to do this because your plan is confusing and I’m afraid your people don’t want to me to understand it for a shady reason. Also, marriage isn’t the answer to less violence considering some marriages are crap, littered with abuse and hate. Some kids are better off with a good, single parent surrounded by a loving family. Great American name, though. Mitt.

Obama, if your stories were strippers, I’d be out of dollar bills. Which, actually, sounds about right. I’m 27-years old living at home with my parents and I’ve been unemployed twice in the past 2.5 years. I’m just now building up my savings because I’m afraid it could all be lost again tomorrow. I’m hoping I won’t have to be roommates with my parents much longer so I can feel that sense of independence again, but it’s still a little ways off. You mesmerize the nation with your storytelling, and I’d totally have a beer with you, but my God do you know how to bullshit your way through a speech. You do it well, too. Romney, McCain – they can’t tell it like you can. Problem is, I really think the past four years have sucked and I’d love nothing more than for you to say, “Uhhh America, I’m sorry I haven’t been able to do more. I promised you change and you haven’t seen the results I said were sure to come. I’m not going to blame anyone else but myself. I’m going to try harder and do better this time by doing A, B, C, D, E, etc instead of always playing basketball and telling you my football predictions. Pinky swear it.” Stop finding a scapegoat, we all know Bush fucked up but so have you. Everyone wanted Bush to come forward and say “sorry”, but I think we deserve some honesty from you, too. Quit telling us stories and start answering the questions.

I have an idea of who I’ll be voting for based on other issues, but I’m not 100% thrilled about it. Plus I live in California so it’s pretty much already decided for me. But if I had it my way, I’d vote for a guy in Pittsburgh, PA who’s hard at work everyday in our steel industry. Or a female restaurant manager at a successful mom-and-pops cafe who is also a mother of three and loves to watch Walking Dead with her hubby on Sunday nights. These people are living and breathing the middle class struggle. They’re the ones Obama and Romney spend an hour with for a photoshoot and suddenly believe they understand it all. I want Erin Brockovich manning America’s helm, dammit.

I love this country, but the future seems dim. Granted, we have it better than many countries in this world, and for that, I stick around. There has always been a sense of hopes, dreams, and accomplishments on American soil, but those vibrant feelings have lately been reduced to a simple “maybe.” I’m hoping to the high heavens that whoever is elected proves me wrong and gives the name of President of the United States a sense of trust again. Right now, I’m ready to flip a coin and let luck lead the way.

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