Mother of Christ that’s an unnecessary name for a shitty shoe. At least Crocs is a one syllable piece of crap. But if you think the name is bad enough, the worst part is it’s extremely accurate to its long description.

THIS. This exists.

But wait – THERE’S MORE. They come in different colors.

Too far, fashion world. TOO FAR.

If I see anyone wearing these boots/shoes/sandals/abominations to your feet, this is happening.

And then I will introduce them to these things called JEANS. They’re like, pants…but denim. You wear them with shoes, sandals, or boots. Normal footwear.

Next thing you know the fashion world will be creating a backward heeled shoe that demeans its wearer into looking like a newborn deer.

Oh wait.