The Real Reason Why The Mayans Didn’t Finish Their Calendar.

Fuck civilization. When you’re offered booze, you take the booze.

My guess is the Mayans missed the inclusion of leap years and daylight savings when someone distracted them with the discovery of margaritas and beer kegs.

On that note, how ridiculous is this end of the world talk? We might as well have this discussion at the end of each calendar year, because that’s literally all the Mayan hoopla is about.

But if that doesn’t ease your impending doom mentality, think of it this way: there’s no way John Cusack (2012) would be the one to save the world. He’s far too panicky, so this whole conversation is moot. Talk to me on any Fourth of July and I’ll tell you, “Shit, aliens. But we’re good because Will Smith exists.”

Fortunately for us, Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhaal aren’t in any immediate danger right now, because Friday just so happens to be…DUN DUN DUNNNN!

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