I Want To Make Stuff Up For Local TV News, Too.


How do I get the job of whoever gets to write the captions below a person’s name on the news? Because THAT – I want that job.

Just to clue you in on the power of this incredibly thorough and honorary position, some examples are in order.

“Goddamn wings with their beaks and happy songs and shit. BWAAAAAAP.”


Most likely to never, EVER succeed. In life. Ever.


Now appearing in “Westside Story”…ROBERT NELSEN, ladies & gentlemen!





Hey, Niklas HJaskdofieowanejg. Cool story, bro.


Well played, caption writing person shman. Well played. Iloveyou.


How does it feel to have the cutest fucking job in the world?


These people with their amazing caption writing jobs have to be laughing themselves into oblivion. Because, let’s face it – people do weird shit, and someone has to tell the world. I would probably just tell the world something mostly unrelated to the person being interviewed. There would be a lot of “Likes to sniff underwear” and “Has an extra pinky finger” and “Not his real face”.

The possibilities are endless! Sign me up.

2 thoughts on “I Want To Make Stuff Up For Local TV News, Too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: