So it seems that Obi-Wan was full of shit and the Force doesn’t exist.
The real magic here? Meth.
It kinda makes sense, right? Let’s go with it and see how Star Wars would’ve been different had Lucas told us the truth about this so-called metaphysical and ubiquitous power that’s really just a fucking acid trip.
“The Meth is strong with this one.”
“May the Meth be with you.”
“The Meth will be with you, always.”
“Strong I am with the Meth, but not that strong.” (Yoda clearly couldn’t handle himself.)
“There is a great disturbance in the Meth.”
“A Jedi’s strength flows from the Meth.”
“You must feel the Meth around you.”
“The Meth is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.” (Honestly, that seems like a waste of drug money.)
“The Meth runs strong in my family.”
“May the Meth be with us.”
Now that Disney owns the rights to Star Wars, and since Disney can be pretty creepy and enjoys hiding dirty things in their movies, maybe when Star Wars VII comes out we’ll finally see what really goes on in the galaxy far, far away.
I mean, for all we know Han Solo is really just a guy named Chuck Trampenstramp, trippin’ out in his closet imagining this entire universe. How else can one explain the idea of Yoda?