Shoe Pants Are A Real Thing.

Are you SOOOOOOOO lazy? Then shoe pants might be your next investment and you’re probably gonna die alone, too.

But if you’re a normal person who doesn’t mind putting on your shoes separate from pulling on your pants, then brace yourself. Because OH DEAR GOD.








Pants and socks are acceptable. Onesies are functional and practical, they even offer a little garage door for your bum. But THIS – go fuck yourself, fashion.

What I’d really like to see is any of these people go to a department store and try on some shoes. Oh wait, YOU CAN’T. Because you’re a fucking idiot and wore shoe pants.

How do you sit in shoe pants? There can’t be any give in the ass region. See how none of these people are fully sitting? They’re just on the edge of the seat – or in Heidi Klum’s case, waking up on a bench from a long night out and holding in her pee – because they physically cannot sit down, or else their ass will be on complete display for being a fucking idiot and wearing shoe pants.

Seriously, these are not functional. And how DARE you Converse! I trusted you, Chuck. Go home, you’re clearly drunk.

Everyone just go home and think about what the world has come to. Forget world peace, shoe pants needs the U.N.’s attention so we can all throw them in a giant pit and bomb the fuck out of them. Unless we’re all too lazy to put our pants and shoes on separately to walk out the door.



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