This is really a no-brainer.
Ryan grew up in a Mormon household, but let’s just ignore that fact and move on. It’s obvious that he’s extremely well equipped for the job and would convert the entire female population of the world to not only attend church, but also instigate the most flourishing women-centric population to ever live in Vatican City. For God, of course.
Is there anything in the recent past that has proven how good God can be than the existence of Ryan Gosling? He’s turned atheists into believers. I can imagine someone who hadn’t really given religion much thought saw Ryan in The Notebook and was like, “Miracles are fucking REAL.” If anyone can turn water into wine, one loaf of bread into millions, and cold loins into burning ones, it’s Ryan Gosling.
Let’s go over 18 reasons why this man would make a perfect pope.
1. He’s so hot.
2. He can work the hat.
3. He looks amaaaaaazing in red.
4. His resume already proves his experience as a leader.
5. He looks great on a chair.
6. He can totally pull off pope slippers.
7. He loves his mom whose name is Donna. (Ma + Donna = MADONNA THE VIRGIN MARY WHAAAA?!)
8. He knows God forgives.
9. He’s good with babies and the pope gets thrown babies constantly.
10. He’s non-violent and isn’t afraid to break up a fight in a tank top.
11. He loves pancake breakfasts.
12. He knows how to keep a steady job.
13. He can handle the rain. LET’S PUT HIM THERE.
14. He could drive his own pope mobile.
15. Ryan saves.
16. He looks phenomenal on magazine covers.
17. He can close one eye WHILE keeping the other one open.
18. I don’t know what I was talking about anymore.
I rest my case.