If Real Life Were A Disney Movie.

I’d imagine my refrigerator would look something like this.

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And they’d help me make breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday while singing joyful tunes and turning the sink into a majestic fountain – but only for the musical number. The salsa jar would obviously be Salma Hayek-inspired and the disturbingly large container of Philadelphia cream cheese would definitely be voiced by Will Smith and have a rap solo, ala Fresh Prince. All the eggs would stick together and the milk would always be nervous and surprised while the Sierra Mist bottle will be overly emotional. The Newman’s tomato sauce would say stuff like, “Ciao bella!” and have a ginormous crush on Salsa Salma.

But this is no Beauty and the Beast – they are not cursed. And they never run out of their condiment either, because this is my Disney fantasy and you can just shut the fuck up with your realism, goddammit.

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