3 Reasons To Feel Good About Today.

It’s almost Friday, guys. For most people, that means a bit of freedom and a break from the normal 9-5 ish week.

For those of you in customer service, it means life is going to start sucking real soon.

Either way, it’s Thursday, there’s two – TWO – episodes of Parks & Recreation on tonight, and I’ve got three other reasons for you to feel goddamn proud of yourself.

First up, you’re not this guy.


Look at him, just laying in a pool of irony and dirt. But as I look longer at this picture, it seems to me the car merely needed a nap, and that IS driving carefully, no?

Second, you’re not these people.


To be fair, black people don’t really high five, do they?


Who knows, maybe they just came back from a group bathroom outing because the stadium dogs didn’t sit well and there wasn’t anymore toilet paper so they had to break it off caveman style. Really, they’re just being super courteous by not making any high five contact. Or maybe it’s like a Star Wars “using the Force” high five.

Or they’re fucking stupid.

Lastly, you’re not Ryan Seacrest.



Hey, at least this kid could actually make contact in his high five. NO EXCUSES WHITE PEOPLE.


There now, don’t you feel better?


Fuckin’ right.


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