When It’s Better To Get Shit Done Yourself.

Group projects are atrocious.

Back in elementary school, group projects were fun and usually involved coloring or planting seeds. Then middle school showed up and you started realizing your fellow classmates aren’t holding up their end of the bargain, but it’s fine because it’s middle school and none of it really matters.

HIGH SCHOOL. Fucking high school. The true colors of group projects showed and it was all the fucking ugly colors, like brown and black smudged yellow. These were the four years when you figured out that people are total shits and you’d rather do the damn thing yourself than allow their piece of crap work to get handed in and suffer the horrible grade.


Nope. You’d rather let them get an A while they lounge back in their desk with their book open to the absolute wrong page because you refuse to let them touch anything. You rationalized it as gaining karma, so it’s okay.

Once you realized who’s a piece of shit and who got their shit done (regardless, there’s so much shit), you started eyeballing who you’d want in your next group project. Only three people? PERFECT. Screw the fourth slot, you knew your group was the shit and would rock the socks off your teacher. It’s like the new Natural Selection: weed out the lazy assholes and recruit all the geeks.

Then in college, group projects became second nature. Lesson learned. As long as you had one or two other confident, kickass group members, you were golden. Plus, the driven students gravitated toward each other like a dollar to a G-string. Do better than a B on all assignments, and they would come.

Luckily, the real world is so much better than school group projects because everyone is afraid they’ll lose their job. In school, you might fail a class, but with your job, you’d fail at life. It’s the best incentive to always do well.

In conclusion:


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