People often ask me, how can Jennifer Lawrence be your best friend and Emma Stone not?
It’s quite simple. Jen is my best friend, but Emma and I are fucking sisters. I swear to God, somewhere we share blood because the facts are just unavoidable.
Take, for instance, her new haircut that Refinery29 just posted.
OMG MY HAIR IS LIKE THAT RIGHT NOW, TOOOO.
I’m also very red in the face, goddamn pale fucking complexion. It’s alright, Emma. Let’s just blame great-Grammy, who I image is named Meryl.
Additionally, Emma and I can combine name forces to create one of the most badass and strangest actresses in Hollywood.
This doesn’t actually mean anything in terms of our sisterhood, but fuck you, it’s cool.
Anyway, besides the fact that we seem to have the same teeth (I have no real photographic evidence of this, I just believe it as fact deep in my soul), we also had similar upbringings.
- Her last name was anglicized when her family migrated to the States – SO WAS MINE.
- She is of very white, European descent – SO AM I.
- She attended an all-girls Catholic high school – SO DID I.
- She is naturally a blonde – AS AM I. (Sort of, I was born dirty blonde, but age has made me more brunette. Give it a few years, Em. You’ll catch up with the genes.)
- She has freckles – ME TOO.
- She is (apparently) 5’6″ in height – I’M 5’7″ SO THAT’S BASICALLY THE SAME.
- And greenish/blueish eyes – CHECK DAT.
- In a relationship with someone who has an accent – YUP.
- She is a huge fan of Conan O’Brien (her twitter handle is @stonenobrien, for fuck’s sake) – YES ME TOO.
- Seems to have an obsession/actual friendship with Ryan Gosling – ONE OF THOSE, YES.
I mean, this information is kind of overwhelming. We clearly share some DNA strand, because no one else could possibly check all of that off except for me.
Thus, Emma (or shall I call her Emily? Since that’s her real name and what her family/friends call her, heretofore ME.) and I should be reconciled and share Thanksgivings and Christmases together, and any other major holiday we see fit.
Em, what say you?