“Whose Line Is It Anyway” Returns Tonight, So Life Is Better.

You GUYZ. If Arrested Development has taught us anything, it’s that there’s always money in the banana stand and great television can make a great comeback.

One of my favorite sketch shows of all time – OF. ALL. TIME. – returns from rerun death tonight. Whose Line Is It Anyway? might be one of the silliest shows to grace the silver screen and FUCK – am I glad to have it come back.

I don’t know many details, if Drew Carey is back hosting or if Wayne Brady is returning with his magical improvisational song/dance powers. But what I do know is this: Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles are both back, making this a MUST NOT MISS.

To try and name off my favorite Whose Line Is It Anyway? moments would be like trying to pick my favorite picture of Ryan Gosling – THEY ARE ALL SO GOOD.

Instead, it’s time to celebrate a fine piece of entertainment returning, relish in its memories, and pop some champagne. I cannot wait for more Irish drinking songs.

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Monday Punday.

Get ready to fall in love with the English language all over again.

Abbreviations are for pussies. And cats just don’t fucking talk to begin with, so use your words.

LEZDOTHIS.

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My People Understand Advertising.

You dark, handsome, gorgeous types can have your lovely tans and exotic eyes.

Us pale folk will get by just fine on our wits.

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I Don’t Know What My Hair Does At Night.

Every morning I wake up, do a little stretch, pop my right hip – every goddamn time – and make my bed.  The latter is super important.

Then I turn around and look in the mirror and –

omg

HAIR. So much of it. So much hair in so many different angles. My strands are not at all on the same page with each other. Whether I sleep on them bone dry, slightly damp, or completely wet, they seem to have gotten totally drunk together and I’m dealing with the hangover. If only rubbing a Big Mac and fries all over my head would sort them out.

I also happen to have two very rowdy cowlicks, that I imagine goes as such during the night:

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That is a scientific cartoon, ladies and gents.

To all you people who can wake up and walk out the door without so much of a quick water pat down, I hate you with the fiery passion of Cersei Lannister during her moon blood. Now I hate you even more for making me type “moon blood.”

But it’s okay, guys. I have bangs. They are the Flintstones bandaids for hair: stylish, practical, and covers up the unwanted.

Motivational Post Of The Day.

To all my friends and/or readers out there who are still pushing the books and trying to get that edumacation, do not fret.

Seriously, don’t fucking worry.

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There now, all better. Life will be juuuuuuust fine.

And if it’s not, then I hope you can swim.

This Food Truck > Anywhere Else You Can Buy A Burger.

Don’t even deny it: if you saw this food truck, you’d totally stop and buy something. You don’t even have to be hungry, you’d still throw all your cash at them.

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Angela Lansbury continues to be one of the most universal actresses of all time.

I will gladly help her solve this case by ordering a #1, please.

When I Hear Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.”

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original

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Innovative Or Completely Ghetto?

This gives a new meaning to pushing a shopping cart.

I just hope they used a cart with a bum wheel, otherwise it’s just a waste.

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I’d like to see someone push that thing with a pack of water on the bottom.

NOT SO EASY IS IT.

An In-Depth Breakdown Of The BART Strike.

Oh hey, something about Bart being on strike and me working from home today.

Here’s my take on this situation:

At first, the unions were like,

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And then Bart was like,

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But then the unions were like,

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And now Bart is all like,

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Which has left us all in a present stalemate.

Oh, money.

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