Today is an awesome day, because it marks the 23rd anniversary of my best friend’s birth.
I’m gonna make her some cake balls, because I know how much she loves cake balls. Tell ’em what you told me, Miri.
You probably don’t understand, but that’s okay. We’re best friends, it’s what we do.
In honor of my BFF Miri‘s birthday, here’s a list of 23 things we enjoy doing together – or so I can imagine:
- Eating cake balls.
- Eating french fries.
- Being in our sweats.
- Side-braiding our hair (I’m the braider, Jen isn’t coordinated enough HAHAHA – she’s soooo silly!).
- Attempting our own makeup, only to draw funny faces on each other instead.
- Reenacting The Hunger Games as Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck set in Looney Tunes land.
- Eating an entire tub of ice cream without using a spoon, just tongues.
- Going into public restrooms and playing fart sounds.
- Watching all 8 Harry Potter films while eating Chinese food with wands instead of chopsticks.
- Counting all the freckles on my face, and connecting them with lines.
- Going to a pet store and playing with all the puppies, giving them names and voices.
- Trying on all the dresses in the nearest thrift store, each picking one for the other to buy.
- Wearing the dress from #12 while watching Mrs. Doubtfire.
- Friday dance parties set to Now That’s What I Call Music! 4 & 5.
- Role playing as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler from SNL’s Weekend Update. We switch off being Tina and Amy, to be fair.
- Designing poodle haircuts in our spare time.
- Stalking celebrities at parties Jen invites me to – usually ends with us getting drunk, giggling, and running away from everyone.
- Inviting over my sister, Emma Stone, to prank call Ryan Gosling – because she has his number.
- Walking through West Hollywood, photobombing all paparazzi shots of Robert Downey, Jr.
- Playing with Jen’s Oscar, where she presents it to me for my role as Yorin Asshil in “The Rich Beggar.” I trip every goddamn time.
- Toilet-papering Josh Hutcherson’s house every Wednesday at 5:27 PM.
- Hanging out with Elizabeth Banks, offering plot ideas for Pitch Perfect 2.
- Pondering the meaning of life over a bag of chips while watching Friends and talking like we’re Hermione Granger.
Don’t you dare apologize, Miri – it’s your birthday! Take as many shots as you want. I’ll be there to hold your hair back later, just don’t do any rum – remember last time? Hahahahahaha!!1!