10 Things That Deserve a Vogue Cover Over Kim & Kanye

Anna Wintour, you’ve fucked up.

First of all, it is one of my Lenten deals to not drop the F-bomb, but I think the big G-man totally understands in this case.

I’m going to keep this simple, because I don’t want to give these numbnuts more publicity than they deserve, and I sure as hell won’t be posting their Vogue cover here. So if that’s what you’re looking for, GTFO.

Here are 10 far worthier subjects that should have gotten Vogue covers.

This hipster bear.


This prestigious medal.


The SNL Gap girls.


This bit of family fun in the sun.


These vibrant and lively looking notebooks.


This dog. Period.


Bill fuckin’ Murray.


This rather fancy and ornate toilet paper.


This thought provoking thumbtack.


And the no-brainer here, the beautiful Lupita Nyong’o.


How were Kim and Kanye put on the cover of Vogue over Lupita Nyong’o?!?! Or any of the other viable options I listed above, really.

Be smart, America. Don’t give in to this bullshit.

Anna, we’re broken up.


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