It’s Friday, So Let’s Look At A Real Life Manicorn.

The weekend is inching closer, but there’s something else I’d like to inch closer.

Like, this face to mine.

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It seems Ryan Gosling still translates as Ryan Gosling, even in Deutschland. That’s right, Ryan Gosling is a universal language, and a beautiful fucking man. An international manicorn of the universe.

Also, I didn’t realize it was possible to see the outlines of a man’s chiseled pectorals under two layers of clothes. Cool bleiben, indeed.

I need to be by myself now.

It’s 2013! Let’s Reflect On How These 3 Things Will Kick The Year Off Right.

I love odd numbers. There’s something so perfectly imperfect about them that I can’t help loving ’em.

Thirteen happens to be my favorite number, based solely off winning a 4th Grade contest by choosing said number when asked to pick one between 1 and 20. I nailed it with 13 and won our class’s Queen of Hearts play backdrop that we all painted. I had no use for the backdrop and was only 1 of 4 who wanted to take it home, but goddammit did I relish in my victory! From then on, 13 and I were inseparable – especially when people kept telling me it was bad luck. Fuck your bad luck! I won a fucking 4th Grade backdrop with my lucky 13! Suck it.

Thus, I believe 2013 will be an amazing year. So Happy 2013 to you all!

To kick things off right, let’s examine 3 images – two in which tickle my fancy and a third that happily freaks me out a bit.

Let’s get started!

First up, Star Wars breaks things down in a children’s book and tells us the tale of Obi Wan Kanobi.

It’s a grand and hairy tale. But not false. That is, indeed, Obi’s beard. Such wisdom at such a young age these days.

 

Secondly, if you’re going to customize your license plate do it right and do it exactly like this.

Forget about the fact that this guy is probably a huge douchebag, because this is car creativity at its finest. But let it be known that I really want to slap a Napster bumper sticker on it.

 

Last but certainly not least, let’s all talk about how young Christopher Walken is present day Scarlett Johansson. (Thanks, Reddit.)

Yes. That’s Christopher Walken. And yes, that’s also ScarJo. I mean, just look at Chrislett (doesn’t shim look like a Chrislett?): those hooded eyes, those shapeless eyebrows, that well knitted sweater.

That is so fucking weird.

Really makes you reflect on what this year could unravel, don’t you think? These revelations are just the beginning! Come at me, 2013.

Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013!

Today is New Year’s Eve, the last full day of 2012. The time when everyone devotes a few paragraphs to tell the Facebook world how awesome or terrible the last 12 months have been, and that 2013 is going to be so much better SO HELP ME GOD. Good for you, I can’t wait to see how much greater your dinners will turn out and how big your baby gets. Wait, humans grow? No fucking way, dude. Dats cool.

Anyway, I’d like to take my own few words to tell you readers how much I love and adore you. I can’t believe you landed on this page and are reading these words. Poop. You just read poop. Thank you for reading and I hope to keep you coming back for more in 2013!

For this next year, I wish you good health, happiness, and all the sweater onesies in the world.

 

A very Happy New Year to everyone!