It’s 2013! Let’s Reflect On How These 3 Things Will Kick The Year Off Right.

I love odd numbers. There’s something so perfectly imperfect about them that I can’t help loving ’em.

Thirteen happens to be my favorite number, based solely off winning a 4th Grade contest by choosing said number when asked to pick one between 1 and 20. I nailed it with 13 and won our class’s Queen of Hearts play backdrop that we all painted. I had no use for the backdrop and was only 1 of 4 who wanted to take it home, but goddammit did I relish in my victory! From then on, 13 and I were inseparable – especially when people kept telling me it was bad luck. Fuck your bad luck! I won a fucking 4th Grade backdrop with my lucky 13! Suck it.

Thus, I believe 2013 will be an amazing year. So Happy 2013 to you all!

To kick things off right, let’s examine 3 images – two in which tickle my fancy and a third that happily freaks me out a bit.

Let’s get started!

First up, Star Wars breaks things down in a children’s book and tells us the tale of Obi Wan Kanobi.

It’s a grand and hairy tale. But not false. That is, indeed, Obi’s beard. Such wisdom at such a young age these days.


Secondly, if you’re going to customize your license plate do it right and do it exactly like this.

Forget about the fact that this guy is probably a huge douchebag, because this is car creativity at its finest. But let it be known that I really want to slap a Napster bumper sticker on it.


Last but certainly not least, let’s all talk about how young Christopher Walken is present day Scarlett Johansson. (Thanks, Reddit.)

Yes. That’s Christopher Walken. And yes, that’s also ScarJo. I mean, just look at Chrislett (doesn’t shim look like a Chrislett?): those hooded eyes, those shapeless eyebrows, that well knitted sweater.

That is so fucking weird.

Really makes you reflect on what this year could unravel, don’t you think? These revelations are just the beginning! Come at me, 2013.

The Best Of Movember.

Tomorrow is December, which means there will be loud buzzing sounds heard ’round the world tonight and tomorrow morning – such will be the noises of newly fresh-faced men and sinks clogged with hair. Or perhaps no shaving at all, if they’re going full Paul Bunyan and keeping their facial winter coats until Januhairy.


But it’s true that most men will likely buzz that shit off, so let’s reminisce and laugh and be baffled for what this past month has represented (besides eating a crap ton of turkey in an attempt to say, “My bad, we cool?” to our Native American friends). In other words, Remember, remember the best of Movember.

What IS it?

And let’s not forget our celebrity ‘stache forefathers.

And my personal favorite: