Only in Europe.

Last year for my birthday, I made a list of things I’ve learned, one for every year I’ve blessed this planet with my presence. (You’re welcome.) It would be far too ridiculous to add a 29th thing to that list, so, instead, I’m going to post an inappropriate joke about life.

Thanks to the land of Germany for this bit of honest advertising. Translated, of course. I’m American, after all. Shit ain’t funny when I can’t read it.

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Mean. Clever. Ominous. German.

Well, how else is a funeral service supposed to gain business? Do funeral places usually advertise? Do they get competitive or roam hospitals and senior homes to network? I need to stop asking questions.

Watch for their next ad posted above a cigarette wall, probably titled, “Breathe deep.”

In opposite news, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ME!!!

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Fuck off, thirty. It ain’t your time yet.