In case you were making camp under a rock yesterday, the Super Bowl happened and that means a halftime show was lavishly presented.
Since my Niners lost, I’m going to make myself feel better by providing you with my five favorite moments from Beyonce’s fierce as fuck halftime show. Granted, my only non-favorite part was her ending it all with “Halo”. NO, Bey. You end your shit with uptempo craziness like the rest of your fierce as fuck show, dammit. But I digress.
Let’s not waste another second, Bey ain’t got time for that!
1. Bey entering with her hand on her hip not giving a fuck standing in front of a giant outline of herself, or what could possibly be an Arby’s sign.
But then she was like, HOLD UP. Taco Bell, bitches. It’s about to get muy caliente!
2. Then the camera panned out and showed us two unnecessary faces.
I assumed they were there for 3 reasons:
a) They were symbolic of Beyonce and her alter ego, Sasha Fierce.
b) They were Bey’s security as they anxiously awaited Bane’s inevitable entrance (which didn’t happen, sigh).
c) They were going to eat Beyonce during her finale to then create an all-powerful Beyonce that would rid the world of Jennifer Lopez. I’m really disappointed this one didn’t go down.
3. Beyonce likely whipping people’s eyes with her hair.
4. DESTINY’S CHILD HAPPENED.
But more importantly, Michelle was launched out on stage in heels, totally calm and cool like it never even happened.
5. THIS. This walk right here.
And that hair flip, even though her hair wasn’t anywhere near her face while she walked. IT DIDN’T MATTER DAMMIT.
Obviously, then the lights went out in the stadium because Beyonce LITERALLY SHUT SHIT DOWN.
Even though the 34 minute blackout was extremely uncomfortable to sit through listening to all the commentators basically saying, “There seems to be a black out, which means the lights aren’t on. I’ve informed the coaches” (THANK GOD FOR YOU), it’s got to be the highlight of Beyonce’s career knowing she shut the power down in half the stadium at the Super Bowl.