Sounds Like New England Is Gonna Have No Problem Finding Nemo.

Who names a giant storm Nemo? I think it’s safe to say, we all attribute the name “Nemo” with a precious little handicapped clown fish who scared the shit out of us as we watched – captivated – while his dad and Ellen Degeneres went through hell to find him. Basically, it’s one of Pixar’s best and has no negative connotation in life, at all.

So maybe the weather guys were tracking this crazy blizzard and said, “Hey! This is a super shitty storm coming, so let’s try to lessen the blow and veto naming it Cujo. What’s a cuter?” BOOM. Nemo.

Apparently Boston is getting the brunt of this storm, as if the Pats losing twice in the Superbowl to the NY Giants wasn’t enough for them. But hey, the Bruins are doing well!

Since my boyfriend is originally from Boston and a huge amount of his family is still up in those parts, I’d like to send my thoughts and warm wishes (seriously, it’s fucking cold there) to all of them while they muscle through little, precious, crippled Nemo.

 

#WhatShouldWeCallIt – End of the World Edition

What all the doomsday preppers imagine will happen when it’s midnight Mayan time.

What they’ll actually look like at 12:01AM.

This Is Why I Will Never Live In Australia. Ever.

Brace yourselves. If you hate spiders or anything else that’s abominable to the earth and makes you scream like a 7-year old girl when trying to smash it with a shoe (but not a good shoe), 10 tissues, or a giant wad of toilet paper, then you would never survive as an Aussie.

Case in point, you might find one of these guys chillin’ on your back door.

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WHATTHEFUCK.

I think I just…I might have fainted briefly. And now I think it’s watching me and tucked under my desk.

Do Aussies deal with these kind of mutant beasts on a regular basis? Because if that’s the case, I might need to rethink the whole “Hey, I’d love to go to Australia before I die” thing. Unless that IS how I would end up dying. In Australia. Eaten by a giant mutant spider.

As a typical American, I have no choice but to assume living in the land from down under is terrifying, all the time. Am I wrong here? Their beaches, they look so…beautiful. And Hugh Jackman, he’s really hot and awesome. Plus, Finding Nemo is a great movie and they swam through a ton of shit just to get to Sydney. Is there a good enough silver lining? Time will tell.

But that SPIDER IS ATROCIOUS.