I’m Going to Start Reading the Paper Again.

Who says printed advertising is a dying art?

Not these guys.


Simple, effective, and bold. Kind of annoyed I can’t click on that link, though. Typing is hard.


Well, that was unexpected. I can’t believe she still uses MySpace.

She obviously found the perfect balance of glitter gifs and motivational quotes that don’t slow down her page loading, otherwise this ad would be depressing.

I wonder what you can do on Heroin? Hopefully it isn’t as addictive as Facebook. Perhaps the substance of Twitter with the after effect of G+: quick and forgettable.

My People Understand Advertising.

You dark, handsome, gorgeous types can have your lovely tans and exotic eyes.

Us pale folk will get by just fine on our wits.


Pedos Who Serve The Lord.

Ignorance is the devil’s work, I tell ya.

You really couldn’t have run this by someone?


The tagline is doing you no favors, because:

  1. There should be a comma between “Lord” and “One.” So let’s just get that out of the way.
  2. You didn’t have to capitalize every. single. word. It’s quoted, so write normally.
  3. None of the above even matters because your website reads SWEET TOOTH PEDO.


I just hope the Sweet Tooth Pedo is located next to The Joint chiropractic place in the background there.

This shopping center is turning out to be wildly intriguing. What’s next? Finger Bang, the gynecologist center.

The Internet Has Ruined The Letter “D”.

Or has it?

In a way, the internet has successfully given new life to the letter “D”. So much so, that it’s changed our marketing stratosphere.

Dish, if you please.


Is it just me, or does this sound like the start of a porn evolution in cable advertising? Let’s break down the roles.

Dish: “She Wants The D!”

Comcast: “He Wants The C!”

Directv: “We Direct It!”

Xfinity: “We Put The X in XXX!”

AT&T U-verse: “We Do It In Every Room. Even Outside.”

. . . . .


I need to be with myself.