Yes, Yes, Yes – YES. So Much YESSSSSSS.

Magic is fucking real, mothafuggers.

It sounds official: J.K. Rowling, the masterful mind behind Harry Potter, is bringing another magical story to the screen.

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For all you Potterheads out there, Rowling released an awesome accompanying book for the Potterverse in 2001 titled, Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them. It’s author is Newt Scamander, but, really, it’s Rowling. Scamander is just another character now part of the Potterverse, which meeeeaaaaans…MORE MAGIC AND SHIT.

The timeline of this series will be 70-years before Harry’s time at Hogwarts, so neither a prequel or sequel – and that’s perfection.

Let’s take this time to celebrate, shall we?

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::tear:: Always, Snape.

Even Filch is pretty stoked.

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Oddly enough, that’s mild amusement for him. But even if it’s not, he can go fuck himself because I’m still upset with what he did in Game of Thrones.

Hermione nailed my reaction, but that’s because Hermione is the greatest witch of our time, and I love her.

So, yes, J.K. DO ALL OF THIS PLEASE. We want more, Pottermore.

 

 

Happy Birthday Jennifer Lawrence, You Beautiful Baby Gazelle.

Today is an awesome day, because it marks the 23rd anniversary of my best friend’s birth.

I’m gonna make her some cake balls, because I know how much she loves cake balls. Tell ’em what you told me, Miri.

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You probably don’t understand, but that’s okay. We’re best friends, it’s what we do.

In honor of my BFF Miri‘s birthday, here’s a list of 23 things we enjoy doing together – or so I can imagine:

  1. Eating cake balls.
  2. Eating french fries.
  3. Being in our sweats.
  4. Side-braiding our hair (I’m the braider, Jen isn’t coordinated enough HAHAHA – she’s soooo silly!).
  5. Attempting our own makeup, only to draw funny faces on each other instead.
  6. Reenacting The Hunger Games as Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck set in Looney Tunes land.
  7. Eating an entire tub of ice cream without using a spoon, just tongues.
  8. Going into public restrooms and playing fart sounds.
  9. Watching all 8 Harry Potter films while eating Chinese food with wands instead of chopsticks.
  10. Counting all the freckles on my face, and connecting them with lines.
  11. Going to a pet store and playing with all the puppies, giving them names and voices.
  12. Trying on all the dresses in the nearest thrift store, each picking one for the other to buy.
  13. Wearing the dress from #12 while watching Mrs. Doubtfire.
  14. Friday dance parties set to Now That’s What I Call Music! 4 & 5.
  15. Role playing as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler from SNL’s Weekend Update. We switch off being Tina and Amy, to be fair.
  16. Designing poodle haircuts in our spare time.
  17. Stalking celebrities at parties Jen invites me to – usually ends with us getting drunk, giggling, and running away from everyone.
  18. Inviting over my sister, Emma Stone, to prank call Ryan Gosling – because she has his number.
  19. Walking through West Hollywood, photobombing all paparazzi shots of Robert Downey, Jr.
  20. Playing with Jen’s Oscar, where she presents it to me for my role as Yorin Asshil in “The Rich Beggar.” I trip every goddamn time.
  21. Toilet-papering Josh Hutcherson’s house every Wednesday at 5:27 PM.
  22. Hanging out with Elizabeth Banks, offering plot ideas for Pitch Perfect 2.
  23. Pondering the meaning of life over a bag of chips while watching Friends and talking like we’re Hermione Granger.

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Don’t you dare apologize, Miri – it’s your birthday! Take as many shots as you want. I’ll be there to hold your hair back later, just don’t do any rum – remember last time? Hahahahahaha!!1!

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I know.

Harry Potter Hump Day #3

It’s that time again, when only Harry Potter can get you through the rest of the work week.

Allow me to assist you in this fine and reasonable demand.

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For those who haven’t watched Game of Thrones Season 3 and don’t want to be spoiled – STOP. LOOKING. NOW.

Seriously, stop. Fuck off. Read the books, they’re the shit.

If the above doesn’t apply to you – prepare your mind.

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. . . . .

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SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Now the Freys, Boltons, and Lannisters (save for Tyrion, of course) must really, really, REALLY die. Because Hermione Granger is basically a Stark, and that shit ain’t right.

Just when I thought I was finally getting over the Red Wedding.

GODDAMMIT.

Harry Potter Hump Day, Part Deux.

Because I’m the Chosen Blog and it’s only the greatest day of this week.

Except for tomorrow, when there will be two – TWO – episodes of Parks & Recreation. That’s one whole fucking hour.

Nonetheless, today is Wednesday, also known as Hump Day. Let’s get through mid-week together with some Potterness, shall we?¬†YES.

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