Has It Come To This?

Have you seen that iPhone commercial about a bunch of people taking random pictures? I suppose it’s meant to justify the massive overuse of people snapping quick shots of their food or finding a shitty looking building exterior and calling it cool, rustic art. I’m sorry, that wall isn’t shabby chic, it’s fucking gross and needs more paint than what’s on your face.

And for this reason, the following picture is worth a thousand words rather than a thousand instagrams.

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I know what you’re thinking, those totally aren’t smart phones, therefore, this cartoon is invalid. But I’d like to say NAH-UH, because this cartoon has a rather frightening commentary on our photo obsessed present, no?

I’d like to give humanity the benefit of the doubt and assume if someone was drowning just off shore, there would be more people running in to try and help than there would be people taking a video of it or trying to post the picture to Facebook – all before the helpless victim even has a chance to contemplate death.

I don’t even know what it’s like to have the capability to think past the panic of “Oh my God, that person is seriously dying” and shift swiftly into “Oh my God, I have to get this on camera.” What’s that say about us these days? What we lack in proactivity, we clearly make up for in inactivity. We’re doing something, just not really the right thing. Why bother taking a picture of your food if you’re not going to tell me how to fucking make it? Thanks for angering my appetite. I hate you.

It almost seems like the person being saved from drowning and the hero(es) who saved said person are being overshadowed by the person capturing it all on camera. People want the picture of a picture. But try that on your television and tell me you don’t immediately get a headache.

What a wonderful topic for a Monday, amiright? Screenshot this and share it.

The Evolution Of Eating.

My how times have changed.

This is the way teenagers eat these days.

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This is the way I ate food as a teenager, and still proudly do to this day.

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My food isn’t meant to be remembered with Instagram and Facebook, it’s meant to be muthafucking devoured. It’s hard enough waiting until everyone has their food in front of them. My fork…it talks to me…it seduces me. And then it’s in my hand and I can’t stop.

The thought of taking a picture is the furthest thing from my head when it comes to food.

Besides, Pinterest is a slutfaced bitch. YOU TEASE ME SO.

Instagram, THE HORROR!

There’s been a slight uproar over the fact that Instagram has taken the liberty to allow itself to use any pictures uploaded to its site, regardless if users are okay with it and without paying them.

There are plenty of obvious arguments against this new policy, especially in terms of celebrity photos. If someone posts a picture of a celebrity on Instagram, can they use this to promote a product as though the celebrity is endorsing it? That would be a dick move.

But when you really reflect on the purpose of Instagram, doesn’t it just seem a little ridiculous how angry people are over this?

Ohmigod – Your casually-taken iPhone photo is being used by a major media company without you seeing any compensation for it??! WELCOME TO THE MUTHAFUCKING INTERNET.

Social media is a public outlet and you’re already choosing to share your pictures on it. If you’re pissed about not getting paid, check out some of the bloggers on HuffingtonPost and HelloGiggles and see if they get paid for their work. Look at the massive popularity of Reddit.com. It’s called exposure – that’s also a photography term, didn’t you know?┬áThe fact that you already think your vintage filtered picture of tonight’s dinner will be used by Instagram is pretty goddamn pretentious.

Maybe I’m way off base here, I’m not on Instagram, after all. I have no desire to be on Instagram. I constantly forget to upload pictures to Facebook. This past Halloween? It happened, but there’s no evidence of it on Facebook. All my friends I’d want to share those pictures with were there with me, so what’s the point?

I don’t understand people who feel the need to publicly share filtered pictures on the internet on an every day basis. Unless, of course, you are a professional photographer, in which case I’m sure you have your own site, a fancy camera, and despise people who post on Instagram with their app filters.

In conclusion, calm the fuck down. It’s what your inner attention whore always wanted. And if it’s not, just…don’t use Instagram. It’s really not that difficult of a concept. The end.