All My Single Ladies, Thank Me Later

Tomorrow is the dreaded Valentine’s Day, or what I like to call Single Awareness Day. As a married individual, let me say this day has not gotten better than when I was solo. Sure, I have a companion, and I’m very grateful for him – but I mean that in the I-want-to-love-you-forever sense, not in the thank-god-I’m-not-alone-on-this-day kind.

That being said, now I also have pressure, and it’s not even from my husband. Thanks, Society, for being a judgmental asshole. No, we don’t have dinner plans – are we supposed to? I guess I should get a card, and maybe shave my legs. I think he’d prefer the latter. But the knees…ugh.

In honor of all my single lady friends tomorrow, who I think are more than worthy companions for any extremely awesome person lucky enough to know them, here’s my gift to you.


You’ll never go back.