Go Home, Beyonce. You’re Drunk.

You really needed to do this?


You, Miss Queen Bey, of all artists in the entertainment industry, never, EVER needed to wear sparkly nipples on an iceskating costume while working your divaness on stage. Leave this type of nonsense for Lady Gaga, Nicki Ninaj, or Michelle Kwan.

And don’t even get me started on the shitty anatomical nature of those nips. The right one is literally trying to drag itself off of that horrendous outfit.

C’mon, Mrs. Carter. You are far too classy for this piece of crap. I think you’ve let Sascha Fierce go too far. What would Beyonce think?



I dare you to sing “Halo” or “Single Ladies” or “Who Run The World” in that silly fucking costume.

Nope. Not taking you seriously.


Claw Nails: How Do We Make This Trend Stop?


These are my top five questions for any self-respecting female sporting claw nails:

1. What the fuck?

2. Are you serious?

3. Why does your hand look like it came from the limb of an eagle?

4. Do you type with your elbows or your knuckles?

5. How many times a day do you stab yourself? (I hope thirteen.)

I think Rihanna and Lady Gaga are to blame for this atrocious trend (and, sad to say, Adele). Though I presume the two real trendsetters were:

The Wicked Witch of the West

And Lord Voldemort.

Just…make it stop. Take them off. TAKE THEM OFF.