The reemergence of ’90s fashion really kinda bums me out.
By now, you should know very well how I feel about crop tops, but the fact that fashion hasn’t stopped there, and the whole high-waisted, bra-top phenomenon that made the ’90s so wonderfully psychotic is back in full force – who the fuck do I need to judo chop over this?
Remember 5-10 years ago, we all looked back at the ’90s and were like, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOMGGG SO AWFUL!!!! How did we suddenly black out on this very important fashion admission – that ’90s style was uncomfortable and embarrassing – that we’ve subjected society to the SAME. GOD. DAMN. MISTAKES?
I think Fashion – yep, I’m totally personifying it – is such a bastard, and she’s playing a joke on all of us.
Let’s take a look at some of the recent celebrity victims of this ’90s epidemic.
“That high-waisted, poofy, scrunched up jeans mini skirt looks really great, Rihanna!” – Said no one ever. But I think I could ask her to hold my chapstick in the top of her waistband.
Katy, WHY? You’re wearing a real-life sports bra, dear. Just grab some spare materials, sew these pieces together, and that’s a funky, awesome dress.
Ladies, there is one – and ONLY one – woman on the face of this planet who can rock the ’90s look with no qualms, ifs, ands, or buts.
Kelly. mothafuckin. Kapowski.
I rest my case.