Excuse Me, Sir. Where Did You Get Your Thong? It’s Lovely.

The cheerleaders aren’t the only sexy faculty and staff at NFL games.

And you have to admit, this guy has classy taste.


It’s not exactly the appropriate time to sag your pants or go without a belt, but – hey – maybe Sisqo was performing at halftime.

Either that or he is a really dedicated flosser.

Treat Yo Self To Some Great TV Tonight.

This is your Fall TV alert sounding off, telling you to make plans with your couch tonight. I hope you paid extra for DVR, otherwise you’ll have to wait some stupid 17 hours or something for Hulu to get their shit together.

Anywho, I’m so excited for tonight, because I’ve just realized – as of today – my Thursdays have become a night of Must-See-TV, once again. It also means I’ll have no time to shower, so I’ll just bathe in my tears (have you SEEN Parenthood?).

In tonight’s lineup:


Thursday Night Football. Sometimes this won’t be as big of a deal, depending on my fantasy players schedules, but the Niners play tonight, so I’ll be a nervous, shouting, pacing wreck. The channel won’t be changed, unless we’re either a) kicking SO much ass that my devotion is redundant, or b) losing so very, very badly that my devotion is redundant. Either way, it’s football, and nothing makes me happier than grown men in tight pants wrapping each other up and crashing to the ground.

Parks and Recreation - Season 5

Parks & Recreation. Season 6 starts tonight, it will be recorded, just in case the game runs long. I thought this was actually premiering last week after I mistakenly read their Facebook posts as “THIS WEEK” rather than “ONE WEEK.” That was a harsh reality. Regardless, my favorite cast is back tonight, so I feel pretty damn invincible – I might try stopping a bus with my bare hands later.


Parenthood. Just typing out the name of the show made me cry a little. If you haven’t been watching this show, you probably haven’t cried enough in your life. Stop bottling up your emotions, let the feelings flow. I’m not a mother or a husband or a 7-year old boy, but this show makes me feel like I’m ALL OF THEM at the same time. The Braverman’s are the greatest family on television, and we should all only hope to be invited to one of their kooky dinner parties. But only after we’ve cried a lot, enough to fill up a mason jar, because that’s the hip thing these days, right?

There you have it. My life tonight. So very diverse: sports, comedy, and crying.

I only hope you have just as productive of a night as moi.

The 49ers Are On Tonight, So Everything Is Fine.

And it begins.

If you aren’t a big football fan, I’m not sure we can be friends, or why you’re reading this in the first place – the title should’ve been a dead giveaway.

Preseason NFL football is that glorious time of the year where nothing really counts but it’s still football, so it’s a smooth transition into full out fandom.

Let’s let our freak flag fly, shall we?



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Roger Goodell, Open Your Billion Dollar Wallet Right Fuckin Now.

In case you’re a recluse, some serious shit is going down in the NFL right now. And at the end of last night’s Monday Night Football game of the Green Bay Packers vs The Seattle Seahawks, all that shit hit a muthafuckin fan. If you missed any part of this mayhem, this is basically what happened:

No seriously, that’s actually what happened. To put it into context, here’s all you need to know, spoken eloquently by Steve (fuckin awesome) Young.



As a sports fan, this is the worst. Baseball, volleyball, soccer, basketball, etc. – no team should ever, EVER lose a game based off a flagrantly blown call. Mind you, this isn’t the first time a bad call has cost a team a game. However, thanks to the power of technology and a rulebook, the NFL has a way of reviewing calls to make sure the right conclusion is made. From said replay, it’s pretty goddamn obvious that’s an interception, but the referee called it a touchdown. Not only that, but with all the hoopla surrounding the shitty game calling the replacement refs have done on the field, the touchdown call from last night was further ┬áreviewed by the upstairs refs who are NOT part of these replacements we’ve all been bitching about and have been around for years. So how does this happen? No, I’m actually asking, HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? Because the sporting world is in absolute shock.

Can you imagine if a pitcher threw a ball that hit the dirt outside of the strike zone but the umpire still called it a strike, thus outing the batter and winning the game?