Go Home, Beyonce. You’re Drunk.

You really needed to do this?

beyonce-breastplate-nipple-costume

You, Miss Queen Bey, of all artists in the entertainment industry, never, EVER needed to wear sparkly nipples on an iceskating costume while working your divaness on stage. Leave this type of nonsense for Lady Gaga, Nicki Ninaj, or Michelle Kwan.

And don’t even get me started on the shitty anatomical nature of those nips. The right one is literally trying to drag itself off of that horrendous outfit.

C’mon, Mrs. Carter. You are far too classy for this piece of crap. I think you’ve let Sascha Fierce go too far. What would Beyonce think?

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Exactly.

I dare you to sing “Halo” or “Single Ladies” or “Who Run The World” in that silly fucking costume.

Nope. Not taking you seriously.

 

News That Doesn’t Matter: What Will Kim and Kanye’s Baby Look Like?

It seems as though Kanye hasn’t just gotten into Kim’s closet and tore shit up. Apparently, he also got all up in her uterus and it’s growing some sort of spawn now.

Firstly, I’d like to offer my congratulations – I hope the baby comes out healthy and isn’t nearly as arrogant as its parents. But let’s be honest, that child is literally made of the two most annoying people in entertainment.

That being said, there are a few ways this could work out. Let’s go over some as if we care/know who these two lovebirds are!

1.  If it’s a girl and she gets Kim’s ginormous ass and Kanye’s musicality.

 

2.  If it’s a boy and gets Kim’s sexuality and Kanye’s douchebaggery.

 

3.  If it’s twins.

 

Well, crap.

Let’s hope Ryan Gosling makes 10 babies to offset the tough times ahead.

Ryan Godsling