Anytime I Venture Into San Francisco On A Non-Work Day.

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PS: Parks & Recreation Season 6 starts September 26th. Treat yo self and catch up, or die a discontented soul.

 

Leslie Knope Would Be So Proud.

San Franciscans can be so clever.

They also must be really small.

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This tiny little sand park cropped up in the Balboa neighborhood of good ‘ol SF. I’m not sure what it does or how it came to be, but none of that matters because it has a hula-hoop and I will hula-hoop everyone’s face off.

Regardless of whether this little park will hold its ground for much longer, one thing can be for certain: somewhere, Leslie Knope is damn proud. It may not have turned out the way that only Leslie Knope could turn a tiny piece of nothing into something –

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but that’s not the point.

Enjoy the little things, and watch Parks & Recreation.

I’m pretty sure those were the only two lessons to be had here.

Aziz Ansarism Of The Day.

This is 100% accurate and 100% mutual for guys and girls.

The fuckin’ games people play. When all we want is a goddamn pizza.

Tell ’em, Aziz.

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Oscar Sunday: Give It To Jennifer Lawrence, Goddammit.

I’m still smiling like an idiot from last night’s back-to-back episodes of Parks & Recreation, featuring the greatest television wedding of all time.

My emotions can best be summed up by this visual aid.

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So while I’m floating on this cloud of fucking SPLENDOR, I’d like to make a last ditch plea to the Academy Awards – since I’m sure they’re all avid readers of my little blog here.

Firstly, the Oscars are on Sunday.

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Secondly, give Jennifer Lawrence a golden naked man statue. In 2012, she was amazing in Silver Linings Playbook, she starred in The Hunger Games and kicked so much ass, and she managed to basically be the greatest human being on Earth (tied with Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Jennifer Aniston, and Emma Stone – naturally). Ryan Gosling remains in a world of his own. Unicorns aren’t human, after all. C’mon.

Right now, the Best Actress category seems like a three-way race between Jennifer Lawrence, Jessica Chastain, and Emmanuelle Riva. So how do each stack up?

Jessica Chastain starred in Zero Dark Thirty, a movie that is sadly being thrown to the wayside by the Oscars. Chastain might be the only shot this movie has at some golden recognition, but I don’t think this ginger firecracker was the best thing about the movie. She proved her intelligence, but this story was never about her life as much as it was about her work, so the emotional depth of her character Maya was total shit. Jason Bourne had a fuller life when he couldn’t even remember it. Thus, the real star of the show is Kathryn Bigelow, who directed ZD30 and did a helluva job of it. The last act where the Navy Seals go on their mission was the epitome of shitting-your-pants excitement. No background score needed, just heavy breathing, whispers, and the worse anxiety of my fucking life. So if anyone should get some kudos from this film, it should be Bigelow. But the Oscars are awful and didn’t nominate her. Here’s hoping ZD30 scores an editing win or something. Pitiful.

Emmanuelle Riva starred in Amour, which I haven’t seen but I hear it’s suuuuuuper depressing. She one half of an old couple and they’re dying together so and it’s like the French version of The Notebook but with only the old people. I’m sure it will destroy all feeling of good in you. Riva just won the BAFTA (basically the British Oscars) for Best Actress, but that’s about it. Her only other heart string to pull is the fact that she’s incredibly old and will turn 86 on Oscar night. GODDAMN YOU RIVA. You make such a strong case. Amour will definitely win the Best Foreign Picture category, so perhaps voters will be settled enough with that. Regardless, I’m looking forward to seeing this movie at some point, but I’ll wait until I feel that maybe love isn’t real so it won’t tear me down and lose all hope in humanity.

Jennifer Lawrence. She won the Golden Globe for Best Comedy Actress and the SAG Award for Best Actress. I’m pretty sure she single-handedly brought Robert DeNiro out of his acting funk, and, for this, she must be rewarded. The girl knows how to act but not how to give acceptance speeches, which means hers are the best and I hope to GAWD that she wins the Oscar. She won’t even know what to do with herself, she’ll probably say the words “poop” and “rash” among an audience of Daniel Day Lewis. Perfection.

So, please, Oscar – give it up for my unofficial friend Miri. You know you want to, just imagine the possibilities.

j Law haute couture   J Law red carpet

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May the odds be ever in her favor.

Harry Potter Hump Day, Part Deux.

Because I’m the Chosen Blog and it’s only the greatest day of this week.

Except for tomorrow, when there will be two – TWO – episodes of Parks & Recreation. That’s one whole fucking hour.

Nonetheless, today is Wednesday, also known as Hump Day. Let’s get through mid-week together with some Potterness, shall we? YES.

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A Week Devoted to the Great Return of NBC’s Parks & Recreation.

PARKS & RECREATION COMES BACK THIS THURSDAY AND I’M EXCITED ABOUT IT.

Okay so if you haven’t noticed from the number of previous posts I’ve written showering my unconditional love for the show Parks & Recreation, I kinda dig this program. It’s awesome and it returns to form this week so I’m dedicating my blog to a bunch of Park & Rec posts. If you haven’t caught up on this show yet or don’t know who Ron Swanson is, I feel super sorry for you – you must be incredibly unhappy and unfulfilled with yourself, in general. But don’t worry, there are ways to become joyful and prosperous again! Netflix, Hulu, and a bunch of illegal sites are eagerly awaiting your viewership. Do it. And stick it out through Season 2 because Season 1 is a whopping 6 episodes and thus automatically doesn’t ask for your judgement.

For today’s honorary clip, it comes from one of my favorite episodes of television of all time. From Season 3’s “The Fight,” after everyone enjoys some healthy Snake Juice cocktails.

 

Let’s take a closer look at the gloriousness that is Ron Swanson wasted.

Oh my God. I’m just….I’m so happy.