Still Bigger Than a Smart Car

This person had the right idea, because it really is the perfect car.

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It has enough Flintstones street cred to it while being small enough to fit in tight spaces and equipped with the ability to smash the shit out of that dick in front of you who never put on his blinker.

That motorcycle man totally wants to know the APR.

A Lesson in Bad Parenting

This picture doesn’t require much messaging, except for what the internet already did to it.

Observe.

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So, what’s the over-under on who said it, mom or dad?

My money is on mom, because her arms are crossed and over it.

Don’t worry, kid. In about 18 years, you can leave for college and never come back.

Sh*t Happens. And Sometimes It Gets Left Behind.

Don’t you love those embarrassing stories in magazines where people submit their crazy real life tales, and you suddenly feel so much better about your own missteps?

No? Did I lose you at “magazines”? You remember magazines (pronounced MAG-UH-ZEENS). They’re those things with famous people on them, and they stare at you while you checkout at the grocery store. Some of them even tell you you’re fat with headlines like, “5 ways to lose those 40 lbs.” And then a photoshopped celebrity shoots lasers out of their abs as your Lean Cuisine and quart of Rocky Road ice cream get scanned. How dare they mock us at checkout.

Well, apparently, we’re all missing out.

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She needs to seriously get her shit together. Or learn plumbing, immediately.

If I were in that situation, I probably would’ve tried to:

a) shove it all down the sink, bit by bit with a Q-tip. And then pour his entire bottle of cologne or shampoo or body wash down the sink with it.

b) wrap it up and throw it out the window with a post-it attached reading, “This is dog poop. Really.”

c) leave it, as is, and write CALL ME on a bunch of toilet paper and throw it on top of the poop.

I don’t know, people deal with their shit differently, I guess.

I Think Europe And I Would Get Along Well.

Besides the fact that I’m the perfectly pallid mash-up of all things Irish and English.

But it’s stuff like this that deepens my connection to my Northern European roots.

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I hope they, too, count double bikes as two points. It’s just simple math.

I’d Like To Believe This News Broadcast Was Real.

Because I laughed too hard at it. And it’s not even close to looking like a real news broadcast, by the way. Not. even. close.

It’s Friday, so I will assume my sense of humor is at an all time lazy point of the week where anything will tickle my fancy because I’m completely spent.

ORRRR maybe this is just sooooo silly and I love it.

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Yep. The latter.

Ally Bruener Is My Newest Life Hero.

I’ve had my share of gigantic life altering experiences. Come October 6, 2013, it’ll be my 10 year mark since having corrective back surgery. From my own crazy events, I tend to observe, rather keenly, the way other people react and move forward from very minuscule to insanely huge life struggles.

Let me just say, there are a bunch of pussies out there in the world.

However, Ally Bruener isn’t one of them, and she won’t take your bullshit. No words I type will do her justice, so go check out her website yourself and laugh your ass off.

Don’t believe me? Too lazy to click? I dare you not to after reading the following.

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Annnnnnd click.

What The Hell Is This?

Oh, Internet. You’re a hoot.

You’re also fucking weird as shit.

Case in point.

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I’m glad people are dedicating their time to the really important things in life. Like Gifsforum and Reddit. It’s a community service to the world.

I Have The Sense Of Humor Of A 2-Year Old.

Because I laughed wayyyyy too hard at this.

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Is the seagull giant or is the man tiny – WHAT AM I LOOKING AT??! The perspective of this picture is amazing, and whoever took it deserves a Pulitzer.

Seriously, I cannot stop staring at this seagull. Those little stick legs in perfect symmetry, and the head straight on. I can only imagine it’s about to take a fat shit on this poor tiny man walking by. Are you kidding me?? WHY. Why am I so amused?

Whatever. I’m pretty sure the seagull is looking at me, too. At least, it is with its left eye.

Innovative Or Completely Ghetto?

This gives a new meaning to pushing a shopping cart.

I just hope they used a cart with a bum wheel, otherwise it’s just a waste.

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I’d like to see someone push that thing with a pack of water on the bottom.

NOT SO EASY IS IT.

Sometimes, The Internet Is Such A Dick.

As I was lurking around Reddit, I found the most amazing, perfect, horrible screenshot of something that one would never think exists in this world, but it does.

And only the Internet would fill us in on it.

Observe.

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Firstly, I don’t blame anyone for having Anatidaephobia. Ducks can be total assholes, as are their snobby siblings known as geese, and feeding them bread gives me anxiety.

Unless I were on this boat.

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I have no idea what I was talking about.

RIGHT. Secondly, that Aflac ad is killing me. I see what you did there, Internet, you sly piece of shit.