Some Men Just Want to Watch the World Burn.

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

I got married, then I got sick, and now I’m back to work just in time for a 4-day weekend.

PhUtBDa

Please excuse the crocs, I told you I’ve been ill.

With Thanksgiving in just a few days and December just around the corner, it’s obvious that we’re all going to get pretty fat. But let’s be thankful of all the glorious food that will soon make our bellies ache, because not everyone gets to give birth to a food baby this time of year.

However, this invention is cruel and unnecessary.

weight-watch-belt

This is why I wear stretchy pants on Thanksgiving. Jeans are unforgiving, and a belt would only hold me back, because I need to get two pieces of pumpkin pie down my throat, not just one.

And don’t even get me started on the tucked-in shirt.

PSHH. Rookie.

Some Spiders Just Want To Watch The World Burn.

Nope. No. Uh-uh.

FUCK. THAT.

MLxMnKB

In case of a fire, we’re all gonna fucking die because, let’s face it, there is no shoe big enough and no tissue thick enough to get this job done. It’s not happening, just run. GO. Save yourself, or – better yet – bust out the s’mores.

Might as well go out with some chocolatey, marshmallowy, graham cracker goodness, because Mother Nature clearly HATES US ALL.