A Lesson in Bad Parenting

This picture doesn’t require much messaging, except for what the internet already did to it.

Observe.

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So, what’s the over-under on who said it, mom or dad?

My money is on mom, because her arms are crossed and over it.

Don’t worry, kid. In about 18 years, you can leave for college and never come back.

This Airport Isn’t Very Excited.

Why is it that anytime someone creates an original piece of art in a public place, it always resembles something incredibly phallic?

I mean, WHAT ELSE IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?

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Regardless, I bet this was erected – and I use that term loosely – in honor of the TSA. It’s awfully close to the security ropes, after all.

Go Home, Washer. You’re Drunk.

Wait till you see it.

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Or perhaps it’s doing its best impression of the Cookie Monster, in which case I’d have to say, SPOT ON. Which is ironic considering it takes spots off…

I’ve gone too far.

FRIDAY, COME SAVE ME.

Smile! You Never Know When Your Picture Is Being Taken. SRSLY.

These days, it’s just better if you make yourelf look like life is treating you pretty damn awesome than to be caught in a compromising position. Because the Internet will find you…

Well, at least it’s important for me. The rest of you can do whatever the hell you want because I’m sorta kinda into all those weird and silly pictures.

That’s why you gotta love China.

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I really hope they’re taking him for his tetanis shot, or else this behavior is in relatively bad taste.

This would be a great image to play, What’s This Kid Thinking?

My take: “And you expect me to be a fucking doctor?”

It’s Friday, So Let’s Look At A Real Life Manicorn.

The weekend is inching closer, but there’s something else I’d like to inch closer.

Like, this face to mine.

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It seems Ryan Gosling still translates as Ryan Gosling, even in Deutschland. That’s right, Ryan Gosling is a universal language, and a beautiful fucking man. An international manicorn of the universe.

Also, I didn’t realize it was possible to see the outlines of a man’s chiseled pectorals under two layers of clothes. Cool bleiben, indeed.

I need to be by myself now.

The Only Reason I Would Ever Want To Visit Australia.

Besides for Hugh Jackman and the beauty of it all, of course.

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Granted, a mad koala might be a legitimately dangerous thing for Aussies. But here in America, they’re thought of as cute, cuddly, and full of great puns.

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So all I’m thinking is there’s some disgruntled koala roaming the lands, more sad than angry, just hanging his head low and looking for a hug while muttering:

“I lost my temper, I should’ve just shared some dinner with Burt, and now he won’t even look at me. I can’t even eat a leaf right now. I’m upset, life is kinda rough. I hope these cars will understand. I’m just not myself today.”

SO FUCKING CUTE. I’d drop all my plans to go looking for that mad koala.

Happy Friday! Love, the 1980s.

Before heading off for the weekend, I thought I’d do everyone a service and leave you with this high quality picture, straight from the 80s.

(Full disclosure, I just audibly laughed typing “high quality” so close to “the 80s”.)

Hey! It’s the lost boy band of the 80s, Permesticles. They were a one hit wonder with the timelessly sensual rock ballad, “Free Ballin'”. You should totally look them up.

Regardless, no decade has ever rocked white and unnecessary amounts of pockets like the 80s did. I swear the guy on the far left literally pinned purses to his shirt, right after getting that sweet perm.

But let’s face it, those shorts are fucking amazing.