I See What You Did There…

Of all the metaphors, puns, and endless ironies that can be put into action as a bookstore employee, I think this one is a must.


Granted, I’m not about to sort through any of those books to find the one I want, because I am an American and I have shit to do. However, I WILL buy you a coffee and rest my hand firmly on your shoulder as a sign of good will and accomplishment.

But don’t think I won’t head over to the Fantasy section and hope to see a) Dumbledore, b) Legolas, or c) Tyrion-fucking-Lannister. I have high expectations for this bookstore.

Nerd Alert! What Really Happened At The Council Of Elrond in “Lord of the Rings.”

I can’t stop giggling.

I also can’t stop watching it. And I kinda want a banana now, too.

It’s just…it’s perfect. Enjoy this, and enjoy life more from this point in time forward. And just know that you will always, ALWAYS have myyy axe.


Also, anyone see The Hobbit? It’s fucking fantastic. God I love Middle Earth. Tolkien, you sly son of a bitch.

Hey Guys, We WON The World Series – So Why Are You Torching That Car?

This just in! San Francisco has no idea how to celebrate a great and wonderful thing.

You might know the City By The Bay as the land of protesters and hippies. According to the celebrations last night following the SF Giants winning the World Series in Detriot, that sounds about right.

Apparently the folks of San Francisco are so used to being pissed off about stupid shit that they took to burning cars and rioting in the streets after the Giants kicked ass and swept the Detroit Tigers last night. What the fucking hell, people? Our city’s MLB team just won the top honors of baseball and you’re…fucking shit up? WHY. W-H-Y? Revert to your hippie roots and love each other. This is a time for celebration and to drink with cops, not to get cuffed by them. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELVES.

Posey, Romo – show us how to really do this.


Also in today’s news, New Zealand decided to scare people shitless by hanging an absurdly gigantic sculpture of GollumĀ in their Wellington airport.


I guess only the guy in the green sweatshirt seems even slightly affected. Silly Kiwis.

That’s an insanely amazing creation though, amiright?