That One Time Papa Bear Got Caught Watching Porn.

It must be said, Disney really knows what they’re doing when it comes to sexual innuendoes. When you’re young and innocent, all the sexually charged tidbits in your favorite Disney movies go completely over your head. And yet, when you reach a certain age where you suddenly look at the screen and see an erect penis, you’re not totally appalled and missing your childhood as much as you’re absurdly impressed they had the balls (heh) to put out the vibe.

Sure, you can argue Disney is a giant monopoly full of old perverts. And you’re probably right. Based on Nala’s fuck-me eyes alone, there were a lot of tensions and circle jerks and orgies during the making of The Lion King. To be fair, they had just killed off Mufasa, so they deserved to have a good time and forget their worries. Hakuna matata. Nonetheless, at one point in your life, childhood nostalgia and adult acknowledgement intertwine and live happily ever after.

That being said, Papa Berenstain Bear needs to take a clue from Disney’s subtlety and brush it under the rug, because mister is OBVIOUS about his porn.


By the look of Papa’s face, and his slightly unbuttoned shirt, he saw just enough of what he needed.

It’s cool. His copy of Busty Bears in Trees┬ástill remains safe and unseen in his hidden honey stash.

Your Bible Needs This Viable Bookshelf Companion.

I think this would be an amazing Christmas or Hanukkah gift, especially coupled with a copy of The Lion King on blu-ray.


I assume this is another Nicholas Sparks masterpiece. If so, please, dear GOD, let them cast Ryan Gosling as the lion. And then immediately tell me where I can audition as this “learning” title character.

Disney, You Sneaky Bastards.

I’m both incredibly impressed and slightly disturbed by this realization.


In my defense, I’ve only seen Hercules once. The Lion King, however, I’ve seen around ten thousand billion space years.

Well played, Disney. Well played.

Also, nice lookin’ out, Hercules. Hakuna Matata.