Words To Live By.

Aren’t the folks at Westboro Baptist Church just the worst?

Anytime they’re in the news, I’m just like –


They’re always complaining about something, which really goes against everything that I cherish about faith. I believe Mark 2:13 says, “The glass is half full, Steve.” Or something like that. It’s nearly a direct quote from Jesus, that much I know.

So on this fine Friday during Lent, let’s all promise to be good to each other, smile more, judge less, and fart loudly in public. There’s nothing more joyful than hearing someone fart, am I right? I personally am not a loud farter – and prefer it that way, I am a LADY, damnit – but when I hear someone else do it, it’s like a unicorn walked into the room and it’s tickling me.

Yes, I’m 27 years old. Farts are funny as hell, get over it.

Also on the list of words to live by, observe.


Somewhere in the heavens, God is slow clapping. Don’t be alarmed by the thunder.