Harry Potter Hump Day #3

It’s that time again, when only Harry Potter can get you through the rest of the work week.

Allow me to assist you in this fine and reasonable demand.

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For those who haven’t watched Game of Thrones Season 3 and don’t want to be spoiled – STOP. LOOKING. NOW.

Seriously, stop. Fuck off. Read the books, they’re the shit.

If the above doesn’t apply to you – prepare your mind.

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. . . . .

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SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Now the Freys, Boltons, and Lannisters (save for Tyrion, of course) must really, really, REALLY die. Because Hermione Granger is basically a Stark, and that shit ain’t right.

Just when I thought I was finally getting over the Red Wedding.

GODDAMMIT.

Why Today Is The Perfect Date.

Because Miss Congeniality said so. That’s fucking why.

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San Francisco might have something to say about that, but pish posh – I never question anything that Sandra Bullock puts her name on. She’s one of the most lovely people in the world, or so her interviews have led me to believe. Besides, nothing Sandy’s done has ever been as bad as Twilight, so let’s get some perspective here, folks.

Plus, Ryan Reynolds totally loves her and there’s no way he could be wrong with those abs.

Thus, today is the perfect date. Enjoy.

Harry Potter Hump Day, Part Deux.

Because I’m the Chosen Blog and it’s only the greatest day of this week.

Except for tomorrow, when there will be two – TWO – episodes of Parks & Recreation. That’s one whole fucking hour.

Nonetheless, today is Wednesday, also known as Hump Day. Let’s get through mid-week together with some Potterness, shall we? YES.

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12 Ways To Take Advantage Of Today’s Numerical Power of 12.

It’s 12/12/12 so that means it’s more possible to do whatever you want in life today than any other day. It’s a very different day, today. Very, very different.

Things to try today because they require numerical magic:

1. Sneeze with your eyes open.

2. Lick your elbow.

3. Ride a unicorn.

4. Take a graduate class at Hogwarts.

5. Use above class skills to rid the world of Twilight.

6. Find Britney Spears, give her a hug, and train her to dance again.

7. Learn how to fly by flapping your arms.

8. Have sex with Ryan Gosling.

9. Merge into traffic like you’re in a bumper car.

10. Punch Christina Aguilera in her left boob.

11. Cancel all the Kardashian shows from E!

12. Win the lottery. TELL NO ONE.

Life is short, isn’t that what they say? I think it’s average height, nearing tall. I also believe in this.