#WhatShouldWeCallIt – Teenage Girls Edition

Every so often, I brave going to the mall after months of avoidance because I need to replace at least three clothing items that have been worn out for years.

Then I remember why I stay away: high school girls hanging out at the mall.

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Thank you, online shopping. Don’t ever change.

I’ll Never Know Which Is The Salad Fork.

When I go out to a fancy restaurant, I know I’m supposed to act like this.

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But every part of my being is trying not to do this.

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Tomorrow is my birthday and we’re going out to eat at a nice Italian place. Apparently, turning 28 and getting older doesn’t mean you’ll stop having the urge to shoot paper off a straw at your significant other, nor will it decrease your desire to shove sticks up your nose.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to do it, I’m just saying the urge is very much alive and I don’t see it going away by the time I’m thirty.

I’m totally okay with this.

Carry on with your lives.

#WhatShouldWeCallIt – End of the World Edition

What all the doomsday preppers imagine will happen when it’s midnight Mayan time.

What they’ll actually look like at 12:01AM.